Teachers, Guns, and Bulletproof Whiteboards

I absolutely believe schools at all levels need to take reasonable steps to protect students against the threat of violence.

But arming teachers? Volunteer armed security guards? Bulletproof whiteboards?

As school bells start to ring, all are either proposals or realities in various parts of the country. I don't agree with any of them.

Arming teachers is one of those "fine in concept" ideas that breaks down when closely examined.

What sort of skills are those teachers required to have? How much preparation? Confronting a gun-wielding assailant, particularly in a room or hallway filled with terrified students, requires far more aptitude than one acquires popping away at a silhouette on a target range once a month. SWAT and special operations personnel, even line cops faced with handling an active shooter situation, receive many hours of particularized training. Some of them even admit they haven't had enough.

And where are the guns going to be kept? In a drawer? In a closet? In a purse? If they are anywhere but on the teacher throughout the work day, they'll probably be too far away to do any good. And if the teacher plans to wear a gun all day, how are they going to carry it? Shoulder holster? Ankle? Or just strapped to the hip? Talk about added stress!

In my experience, if a firearm cannot be carried comfortably, it will likely not be carried for long.

And ask yourself this. How many teachers, those who are not veterans or ex-cops, will have the mindset to kill, even in self-defense?

I raise the same arguments about volunteer armed guards in schools. Where's the training? Where is the psychological preparation? Where is the liability if there’s an accident?

And from the Silly Ways to Drop Good Money Department, University of Maryland Eastern Shore announced earlier this month that it plans to spend $60,000 to supply faculty with bulletproof whiteboard tablets. Each tablet measures 18 by 20 inches and comes in a variety of colors.

Yeah, those are gonna be real useful, I’m sure.

Instead of teachers with guns and whiteboards, how about hiring some well-trained, off-duty cops?

Or better yet, how about hiring experienced security specialists to assess the unique risks of each building on each campus?

Immediate, cheap, feel good, scattershot approaches seldom provide long term solutions.

In cases of school violence, they could result in the deaths of those they were adopted to protect.

Take It Like a Man, Kid!

I really hate to be trendy. Sort of makes my teeth itch as my old squad car partner used to say. But these two stories just seem to be yanking the commentary out of me today.

Consider. A twelve-year-old boy on "Kids" week of that venerable show, Jeopardy, bets $3,000 of his $9,600 in winnings on his answer to: "Abraham Lincoln called this document, which took effect in 1863, "a fit and necessary war measure." His answer, spelled the way he spelled it, was "Emanciptation Proclamation."

It's spelled wrong, right? So the show busts his wallet. He winds up in second place...where he would have been anyway because the winner had amassed $66G.

But the kid hollers about it. And the media, and social media, pick it up. His father calls the show's producers and host Alex Trebek "smug" and says the poor child "hung his head," and "was barely holding it together..."

Tough beans, little guy. If you can't stand to lose, you shouldn't have gone on the show.

Though your teachers and parents may give you a pass, though it's not important on Twitter and Facebook and in texts and wherever else nowadays, spelling counts on Jeopardy. It's in the rules.

Your dad may help you whine about it, but here's the lesson. Just because you're a kid and came close,  suck it up. Sure we all knew what you meant.

That's not good enough.

Also not good enough...A-Rod's suspension from baseball for doping. Yeah, he's suspended but he's in the lineup tonight here in Chicago.

"Yes, kiddies, we've told you taking drugs is bad...unless a baseball team and league is depending on you to make money for them...then it's okay."

End of rants.