Coming up in the next couple of weeks, a few new things here on the blog:
Beth Tindall of Cincinnati Media will discuss website design and how to evaluate a professional web designer so that you get what you need.
My publicist/events planner Carol Haggas will offer some thoughts on promoting yourself and your work.
Thirty-year Illinois State Police veteran and former small town police chief Mike Sliozis will tell you all you need to know about the art of making traffic stops.
And I'll continue the series you have all been following with breathless anticipation...the Every Secret Crime Book Tour...including some unanticipated glitches with the publisher's distribution system that had one book store owner furious!
All here on the Every Secret Crime blog.
Stay tuned...
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Where Doug Sold More Books Than They Had in the Store
As easily as some of you can sense the mood of the room as you walk into a meeting at work, or even a party at the neighbors', an author can gauge a store's attitude toward book signings.
Two clues were apparent as I walked in the door of the chain book store an hour from my house this afternoon.
Nothing to announce the event. No books displayed. Not one of my books on the shelves in the mystery section. One sign on an empty table near the front of the store proclaimed, "Author Book Signing Today!" with no indication whether it was to be Oprah or . . . me.
A fellow came toward me carrying my books like they were something smelly left on his desk by mistake. At 5'6 and probably 250 pounds, super-size belly pushed out in front of him, chips firmly attached to both shoulders, he was Fat Pat the Store Manager. Hard little beetle eyes signalled Fat Pat was a man who was Not Taking Any Guff.
"Here. We got all your books available in the entire country." Plunked them down on the "Author Book Signing Today" table.
"Wow. Nine whole books? I was told you ordered twenty. Did you sell the rest?"
"No. This is all. You should be thankful we got these," he said. And then with a triumphant little twist he added, "If had a bigger publisher, maybe they'd have more books for you."
"I have a few in the car, if we run out shall I bring them in for you to sell..."
"No. Can't do that. We can't buy books from you. Company policy."
The business of selling began.
First there was the lovely lady who I thought wanted to buy a book but who really just wanted to use my table to wrap a present. When she was finished, she held out her trash. "Throw this away, will you?"
"Sorry," I said. "No waste basket."
"Well, there should be somewhere I can put it!"
"I'm sure there is, but it wouldn't be very comfortable for you."
Then some friends stopped by and my attitude improved. And people started buying books. One bought three and so on until I was sold out.
But people kept coming. One brought the article from the Chicago Sun-Times about me and asked me to autograph it. Others said they'd heard me on the radio. Two asked about my first book and why the store didn't have it available, too.
Feeling like a street corner crack dealer, keeping an eye out for Fat Pat, I sold one book for cash. Sold another. Sold a third. After all, he'd said he couldn't buy books from me to sell...but had said nothing about me selling them myself.
Final tally: total books in store...9. Total books sold...12.
Readers rock, you know that?
Two clues were apparent as I walked in the door of the chain book store an hour from my house this afternoon.
Nothing to announce the event. No books displayed. Not one of my books on the shelves in the mystery section. One sign on an empty table near the front of the store proclaimed, "Author Book Signing Today!" with no indication whether it was to be Oprah or . . . me.
A fellow came toward me carrying my books like they were something smelly left on his desk by mistake. At 5'6 and probably 250 pounds, super-size belly pushed out in front of him, chips firmly attached to both shoulders, he was Fat Pat the Store Manager. Hard little beetle eyes signalled Fat Pat was a man who was Not Taking Any Guff.
"Here. We got all your books available in the entire country." Plunked them down on the "Author Book Signing Today" table.
"Wow. Nine whole books? I was told you ordered twenty. Did you sell the rest?"
"No. This is all. You should be thankful we got these," he said. And then with a triumphant little twist he added, "If had a bigger publisher, maybe they'd have more books for you."
"I have a few in the car, if we run out shall I bring them in for you to sell..."
"No. Can't do that. We can't buy books from you. Company policy."
The business of selling began.
First there was the lovely lady who I thought wanted to buy a book but who really just wanted to use my table to wrap a present. When she was finished, she held out her trash. "Throw this away, will you?"
"Sorry," I said. "No waste basket."
"Well, there should be somewhere I can put it!"
"I'm sure there is, but it wouldn't be very comfortable for you."
Then some friends stopped by and my attitude improved. And people started buying books. One bought three and so on until I was sold out.
But people kept coming. One brought the article from the Chicago Sun-Times about me and asked me to autograph it. Others said they'd heard me on the radio. Two asked about my first book and why the store didn't have it available, too.
Feeling like a street corner crack dealer, keeping an eye out for Fat Pat, I sold one book for cash. Sold another. Sold a third. After all, he'd said he couldn't buy books from me to sell...but had said nothing about me selling them myself.
Final tally: total books in store...9. Total books sold...12.
Readers rock, you know that?
Thursday, July 24, 2008
The Every Secret Crime Book Tour Blog Part One
I get a kick out of book touring.
It's fun to talk about books, about writing and about my background. Selling is fun, too, especially when the buyer is a little reluctant at first. And you never know what sort of character is going to show up . . . or work in the store. For a writer, meeting characters is always a hoot.
So my launch event was terrific. The owner of the (independent) bookstore is just a great guy and a huge fan of writers. Friendly, helpful, professional and eager to sell books, he was ready to do whatever it took to back me up. There was great store signage as well as pre-signing publicity about me in the local newspaper. People who had seen the article came as well as others who remembered me from my radio news days.
The best part? After I thought we were finished, the owner got two phoned-in book requests. He was just tickled about that. Said it had never happened before.
The second book signing, at another independent, was just as much fun and I sold more books than I expected including several copies of my first novel which I'd brought along. The bookstore owner had devoted an entire window display to my book and made up small cards promoting it to hand out at the register. Her staff was friendly and helpful and just fun to be around. They obviously love books and get even more pleasure from knowing and helping their customers.
Ah yes, the third signing. Yet another independent but one with an attitude. Just out of curiosity I checked the store an hour before I was supposed to show up. Found minimal promotional signage, no display of my book in store or in the window. The owner was gone and the person assigned to assist me did so with all the enthusiasm of a correctional officer escorting an inmate to court. The table for the signing was in the back of the store, typical for their signings, and they'd put out eight chairs, obviously expecting a huge turnout. What was fun was watching my escort constantly running to add more chairs every time another person showed up. I think we ended up with about twenty people there, most of them buying books. What a great time.
On the way out, I realized the lack of signage was nothing personal. Martha Stewart will soon be appearing in the store yet the only mention of her was on a small card at one of the registers. When I remarked about it, one of the booksellers laughed and said, "We're looking forward to her visit. She's coming a day early...to clean."
On a high from those first three signings...I arrived for my fourth at one of the large chain stores an hour from my house. Talk about a surprise...and characters!
More on that tomorrow.
It's fun to talk about books, about writing and about my background. Selling is fun, too, especially when the buyer is a little reluctant at first. And you never know what sort of character is going to show up . . . or work in the store. For a writer, meeting characters is always a hoot.
So my launch event was terrific. The owner of the (independent) bookstore is just a great guy and a huge fan of writers. Friendly, helpful, professional and eager to sell books, he was ready to do whatever it took to back me up. There was great store signage as well as pre-signing publicity about me in the local newspaper. People who had seen the article came as well as others who remembered me from my radio news days.
The best part? After I thought we were finished, the owner got two phoned-in book requests. He was just tickled about that. Said it had never happened before.
The second book signing, at another independent, was just as much fun and I sold more books than I expected including several copies of my first novel which I'd brought along. The bookstore owner had devoted an entire window display to my book and made up small cards promoting it to hand out at the register. Her staff was friendly and helpful and just fun to be around. They obviously love books and get even more pleasure from knowing and helping their customers.
Ah yes, the third signing. Yet another independent but one with an attitude. Just out of curiosity I checked the store an hour before I was supposed to show up. Found minimal promotional signage, no display of my book in store or in the window. The owner was gone and the person assigned to assist me did so with all the enthusiasm of a correctional officer escorting an inmate to court. The table for the signing was in the back of the store, typical for their signings, and they'd put out eight chairs, obviously expecting a huge turnout. What was fun was watching my escort constantly running to add more chairs every time another person showed up. I think we ended up with about twenty people there, most of them buying books. What a great time.
On the way out, I realized the lack of signage was nothing personal. Martha Stewart will soon be appearing in the store yet the only mention of her was on a small card at one of the registers. When I remarked about it, one of the booksellers laughed and said, "We're looking forward to her visit. She's coming a day early...to clean."
On a high from those first three signings...I arrived for my fourth at one of the large chain stores an hour from my house. Talk about a surprise...and characters!
More on that tomorrow.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Random Thoughts From a Morning Bike Ride
I'd regularly ride my bike on the sidewalk as my city mandates if:
All drivers backing out of their hidden-by-shrubs driveways would honk before reaching the sidewalk;
All pedestrians would keep a heads-up attitude so as not to leap into my path in fright when I call out, "Passing on the left!";
Other bikers would pick one side of the sidewalk or the other and not choose the middle;
The city would mandate tree branches be trimmed to above head level;
All pedestrians walking their pets would keep a heads-up attitude so their dog doesn't leap into my path in fright with teeth bared when I call out, "Passing on the left!";
Pet-owners would not let their dogs leave "gifts" in the middle of the sidewalk;
Sidewalks were free of root-heaving and the grass alongside was trimmed so the drop between grass and cement was visible;
Drivers would yield to bikers in crosswalks;
Drivers would yield to bikers in crosswalks without dropping the F-bomb;
Drivers intending to turn into their driveway would keep a heads-up attitude and notice when I am in the middle of crossing said driveway;
Children would learn that walking three abreast in front of me when I'm pedaling at 15 mph will result in them becoming the human equivalent of bowling pins in front of a strike-bound ball;
Parents who are walking with children holding ice-cream cones would discourage their children from attempting to share said ice cream "as a surprise" with a passing biker.
All of the above?
Priceless.
All drivers backing out of their hidden-by-shrubs driveways would honk before reaching the sidewalk;
All pedestrians would keep a heads-up attitude so as not to leap into my path in fright when I call out, "Passing on the left!";
Other bikers would pick one side of the sidewalk or the other and not choose the middle;
The city would mandate tree branches be trimmed to above head level;
All pedestrians walking their pets would keep a heads-up attitude so their dog doesn't leap into my path in fright with teeth bared when I call out, "Passing on the left!";
Pet-owners would not let their dogs leave "gifts" in the middle of the sidewalk;
Sidewalks were free of root-heaving and the grass alongside was trimmed so the drop between grass and cement was visible;
Drivers would yield to bikers in crosswalks;
Drivers would yield to bikers in crosswalks without dropping the F-bomb;
Drivers intending to turn into their driveway would keep a heads-up attitude and notice when I am in the middle of crossing said driveway;
Children would learn that walking three abreast in front of me when I'm pedaling at 15 mph will result in them becoming the human equivalent of bowling pins in front of a strike-bound ball;
Parents who are walking with children holding ice-cream cones would discourage their children from attempting to share said ice cream "as a surprise" with a passing biker.
All of the above?
Priceless.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
One Hankie, Maybe Two
If you love animals as much as I do, this may well make your day.
Just a suggestion: keep a tissue handy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adYbFQFXG0U
Just a suggestion: keep a tissue handy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adYbFQFXG0U
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Does That Scanner Make My Butt Look Fat?
Reading in the Chicago Tribune today about the full body scanner the government will soon have in place at O'Hare to check travelers more completely for hidden weapons and/or explosives. Fully body scanner. Wow. Sounds like something out of Star Trek, doesn't it?
The writer describes the machine's function as providing a "virtual strip-search," of passengers, though he says the face of the person being scanned will not be visible, nor will the images be retained in the system. From what I can tell, the machine is designed to detect weapons and explosives hidden in body cavities or elsewhere difficult to search by other means. This machine, the article says, will update technology from the 1970's which is still in use.
The article indicates the scans won't be done in front of a leering audience of other travelers (which could actually be a welcome diversion for those waiting in the security line) but in a booth where only TSA personnel will be watching.
Illinois ACLU officials and a number of people interviewed at O'Hare and who posted their thoughts in the comments section fear the machine and call it an abridgement of their rights. They apparently don't like the idea of being naked in front of strangers.
Okay, let's see if I have this straight.
The idea is to update equipment that's been outdated for thirty years and, thus, keep airline travel safer. Presumably the body scans will also speed up passage through the screening procedure for at least some travelers.
The downside is that some folks will be embarrassed to have others see their flabby bellies and butts and . . . so forth. Yet, TSA says the old fashioned frisk will still be available for those who are afraid the screeners might guffaw at their virtual image (and perhaps illicitly save the images for trading . . . like baseball cards).
And the alternative might be . . .what?
Without the machine, someday, somewhere, the highly trained expert security specialists of the TSA might miss an explosive device that an immodest terrorist has hidden, shall we say, where the sun don't shine. Which then would result in an explosion and all those body parts people want to hide being strewn all over the landscape for hapless evidence collectors to dig out of trees and the sides of houses and so forth, leaving the ones the CSI's miss for animals to gnaw on.
Hmmm. Which would I prefer to encounter in my travels?
A screener who, after the first half-dozen scans will care less if the flier has a double-D cup, is built like John Holmes or had surgery two weeks ago?
Or continued reliance on outmoded equipment that could allow The Bad People to blow my equipment and everyone else's into chunks of fish food?
All I can say is this. A couple of years ago, I bought one of those spy coats with fifty hidden pockets, some of them large enough to store a big screen TV and my entire Pez collection. I figured it would be great for those last minute items I always forget when I'm packing a suitcase. The problem is, some of those pockets are so well hidden that I've lost valuable stuff.
I think this new machine may be a Godsend for me.
The writer describes the machine's function as providing a "virtual strip-search," of passengers, though he says the face of the person being scanned will not be visible, nor will the images be retained in the system. From what I can tell, the machine is designed to detect weapons and explosives hidden in body cavities or elsewhere difficult to search by other means. This machine, the article says, will update technology from the 1970's which is still in use.
The article indicates the scans won't be done in front of a leering audience of other travelers (which could actually be a welcome diversion for those waiting in the security line) but in a booth where only TSA personnel will be watching.
Illinois ACLU officials and a number of people interviewed at O'Hare and who posted their thoughts in the comments section fear the machine and call it an abridgement of their rights. They apparently don't like the idea of being naked in front of strangers.
Okay, let's see if I have this straight.
The idea is to update equipment that's been outdated for thirty years and, thus, keep airline travel safer. Presumably the body scans will also speed up passage through the screening procedure for at least some travelers.
The downside is that some folks will be embarrassed to have others see their flabby bellies and butts and . . . so forth. Yet, TSA says the old fashioned frisk will still be available for those who are afraid the screeners might guffaw at their virtual image (and perhaps illicitly save the images for trading . . . like baseball cards).
And the alternative might be . . .what?
Without the machine, someday, somewhere, the highly trained expert security specialists of the TSA might miss an explosive device that an immodest terrorist has hidden, shall we say, where the sun don't shine. Which then would result in an explosion and all those body parts people want to hide being strewn all over the landscape for hapless evidence collectors to dig out of trees and the sides of houses and so forth, leaving the ones the CSI's miss for animals to gnaw on.
Hmmm. Which would I prefer to encounter in my travels?
A screener who, after the first half-dozen scans will care less if the flier has a double-D cup, is built like John Holmes or had surgery two weeks ago?
Or continued reliance on outmoded equipment that could allow The Bad People to blow my equipment and everyone else's into chunks of fish food?
All I can say is this. A couple of years ago, I bought one of those spy coats with fifty hidden pockets, some of them large enough to store a big screen TV and my entire Pez collection. I figured it would be great for those last minute items I always forget when I'm packing a suitcase. The problem is, some of those pockets are so well hidden that I've lost valuable stuff.
I think this new machine may be a Godsend for me.
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