Buffoons of Crime and Religion

I know it's going to surprise many of my thousands of loyal readers but, in the interests of fairness, I must admit I have been called a buffoon once or twice in my life.

That said, I would like to point to several others who have taken bufoonery to way, way higher levels.

There are the two winners who reportedly conspired to kill the ex-girlfriend of one of them in Darien, Illinois last week. Dumb alledgedly convinced Dumber to hammer through a window into the exes parents' home and go on a shooting spree. Dumber alledgedly killed the exes parents and her brother. Fortunately, he missed the ex and a couple of others.

Police rounded up Dumb and Dumber shortly thereafter and even taped them bitching at each other after their arrests. They could and should face the death penalty. In fact, in Doug's World, they'd just be taken out in back, shot in the head, and dumped in a sewer.

Same for the two evidently criminal masterminds who alledgedly conspired to burn down a Cicero, Illinois apartment building for the insurance money. Cops busted the two of them last week. Mastermind Number One reportedly told Mastermind Number Two, "Set the fire in the afternoon when the kids are at school." The apartment building went up in flames at 6:30 one morning and the fire killed seven people, including children and even a newborn.

And then we come to my favorite Buffoons: a family of them, in fact. I call them the Phlegms. They are members of a religious cult, led by the Rev Pherd Phlegm, in my opinion one of the more aggressively evil bastards of our time. The Phlegms claim God hates homosexuals and they take their message, in particular, to the funerals of those who have died in the service of our country. The U.S. Supreme Court announced today that it will hear the appeal of a case filed against Rev. Phlegm and his snot-nosed crew. The lower court and a court of appeals denied the claim of a military family that the Rev's demonstration at their son's funeral caused them harm. We'll see what the Supremes have to say.

My guess is, the Justices will uphold the Phlegms' wanton and intentionally cruel displays of prejudice, all in the name of nothing more than getting cheap publicity for their buffoonery, as Free Speech.

However, I suspect the Highest Court will view the Rev Phlegm and his followers with far less tolerance.