Another Chicago Cop Murdered

I'm damned angry. If you live, and vote, in the city of Chicago, you should be, too.

Officer Michael Bailey was 62, just weeks away from mandatory retirement.

A Chicago police officer for twenty years, he was shot in his own driveway. He was still in uniform, having returned home after a shift spent guarding Mayor Daley's home.

Think about that. He was in uniform! What does that say about the people who attacked him? What does that say about the climate of violence in that one South Side neighborhood? In fact, he's the second off-duty cop still in uniform to be killed this month.

How ironic that he was part of Mayor Richard Daley's security team. Mayor Daley, the guy who says the city's wallet is empty and he can't afford to hire more cops. Mayor Daley, the guy who doesn't want law-abiding citizens to own handguns but allows violent criminals to feel so safe on the streets that they brazenly attack a uniformed police officer in his own driveway.

Will it make a difference that Daley personally knew this fine, brave copper? Of course not. He'll make a few meaningless media statements and perhaps attend Bailey's funeral. I certainly hope he is not allowed anywhere near a lectern on that sad day.

The City of Chicago needs to hire more cops. At least enough to replace those who are leaving in record numbers. Will that happen? No. As John Kass points out in the Tribune, "(The) mayor and his rubber-stamp council have spent all the money. Hundreds of millions of dollars worth of deals went to the cronies. And now there's no money left to hire cops."

I absolutely believe that to be true. He's cheated you and the city and now, not even his cops are safe.

Be angry. Be furiously angry.

Better yet, come November, be votingly angry.

Denial: It's Not Just a River In Egypt Any More

Denial is a tough subject to write about and I welcome any feedback you might have about the situation I'm going to outline.

I know a young man of ten who is fascinated by guns. He reads about them. Any time he goes to the library or a bookstore he demands to get books or magazines about them. He sketches pictures of them. He talks about them. This young man was brought up with two older sisters who torment him ceaselessly. From what I'm led to understand, his mother and father didn't realize he couldn't read or write until he was about eight years old even though he is a student in a well-regarded private school. Remedial help is now being given but he is described as withdrawn and very angry. Cousins choose not to play with him because he is so angry and acts so childlike.

His mother allows him and his sisters to leave toys and clothes heaped on the floors of not only their rooms but their bathroom as well. In fact, two rooms of their large, expansive home are now so filled with junk they are impassable.

Their mother is strict with them, but secretive with the rest of the family. No one knows their daily routines, their vacation schedules or even what they do for recreation day to day. Phone messages are often answered by email several days later. All of the children are reported to be on medication of some sort; the ten year old takes eleven or twelve pills a day but his mother will not tell anyone what the pills do or if, indeed, they have been proscribed by a doctor or are over-the-counter.

Through all of this, his mother is oblivious. Suggestions by relatives go unheeded. Questions about the children are unanswered. The father responds, "I don't know" to most inquiries about the family, even basic ones.

Grandparents are not willing to take any action whatsoever.

The CIA could use these folks in a training video about clandestine living.

I've been asked to visit with the little boy on occasion. I know quite a bit about firearms that I could probably teach to him on a ten-year-old level. I also know quite a bit about how angry little boys with a fascination for weapons and violence can grow up and do things that shock their families. Frequently they are said to have "just snapped" although professionals will tell you they have been well-trained throughout their childhood to behave just that way.

Should I talk with this child about firearms and teach him not only the good but the bad things that can happen? Or should I find another way to interact with him? I don't know much about dealing with kids though I know a great deal about what some of them have done. I don't want any of that to touch him or his family.

Any ideas from you moms and dads and assorted professionals out there?

On Murder and 20/20 Hindsight

Several people took me to task for yesterday's post about the double murder/suicide in Wilmette, just as they did awhile back when I made the assertion that crime victims often ignore warning signs of danger, particularly when they occur in relationships.

Richard Wiley was an ex-con who murdered his first wife by stabbing her almost two dozen times. He was convicted, served fifteen years of a thirty year sentence, and was released in 2000. The man who prosecuted him is quoted as saying Wiley,"gave me chills."

Eight months after his release, Kathryn Motes married him.

Over the weekend, the couple reportedly argued. Then, police say, Wiley shot her and her teenage son, spent the night writing a suicide note, then killed himself.

Motes knew Wiley killed his first wife. So did her pastor and the people in her church. The pastor who married them tells the Tribune she even had misgivings about marrying the two but that Motes assured her she had considered all the scenarios and could, "deal with it."

And some of you think there weren't warning signs in this relationship? C'mon! The man got angry and stabbed wife number one twenty-three times! Some relationships have subtle hints of problems to come. This one flashed, "DANGER AHEAD" in big red letters from the first day they met. Undoubtedly there were other, more subtle, warnings that went unheeded over the past eight years, too.

Yet, as one friend noted to me yesterday, "People see what they want to see." And no one wants to see evil when they look into the eyes of someone they love.

My final thoughts on the subject? God Bless Kathryn Motes for loving Richard Wiley despite his history. God Bless the members of their church for accepting him and supporting her. I wish it had all turned out differently for them and her son. May God rest their souls.

"Thus," as I am fond of quoting Sean Connery in The Untouchables, "endeth the lesson."

Oh, but not really. A little postscript.

Recently a young mother in the Chicago area moved in with an ex-cop with a history of checkered relationships. You know the one I mean. One ex-wife dead in their bathtub? The other one missing? His grinning face all over the news on a regular basis? That guy.

Another pretty obvious case of warning bells clanging loudly, right? Personally, I think she'll go missing someday, too. Just because he wants the thrill of doing it right under the noses of people who are watching and waiting for it to happen.

I'm more worried about the silent domestic alarms, however. The ones going off, maybe in a relationship in your community. Maybe even between people you know and care about.

Perhaps nasty words have given way to shouting. Making threats. Or grabbing an arm and twisting it. Or giving a shove. Maybe a punch. Maybe one of the kids has an unexplainable bruise. Or someone has a black eye from "running into a door." Or someone fell down a flight of stairs.

Accidents, pure and simple? Or warning signs of domestic abuse?
What does your intuition tell you?

What are you going to do about it?

What Your Car Tells People About You

I’ve been writing about violence the past couple of days.

I offered the thought that victims often contribute to their victimization. Sometimes by what they do. Sometimes by what they fail to do.

The woman who lives alone and leaves her blinds open, inviting a would-be serial rapist to have a glimpse of her life.

The person who ignores warning signs of violence in their spouse-to-be.

I suggested embracing the intuitive ability we all have to stay alert to potentially violent situations and I provided Jeff Cooper’s Color Codes of Mental Awareness as a way to hone those intuitive skills.

I even mentioned how my cat, Socks, helped me learn to stay at Cooper’s condition Yellow.

It helps if you can program yourself to think like a predator.

When I was a deputy sheriff, a wise corrections officer warned me to keep something in mind whenever I worked in the county jail. He said, “You can spend eight hours a day in here trying stay safe but the prisoners have twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week to figure out ways to f___k you up.”

Crooks look for the exact same opportunities on the outside, too. Here are some ways they might use your car as a resource:

• Do you have vanity plates with your name on them? (Getting you to lower your guard while approaching you, a predator could say something like, “Hey, Lucy, I haven’t seen you since high school…”).
• Is your address on any slip of paper, envelope or box to be shipped that can be read from outside the car? Do you leave letters to be mailed face up on the seat or dash?
• Do you ever leave your car with a parking valet? With a mechanic? Is your house key on the ring with the ignition key you provide them?
• Is your garage door opener in the car (they have codes that can easily be read and duplicated)?
• Is your home address on anything in your glove box or under the seat? How about in your briefcase?
• Are there pictures of your children inside your car? The name of their school?
• For that matter, do you ever leave your car running with your child inside for “just a minute” while you duck into a store?
• Do you ever leave your car unlocked?
• Do you look in the back seat before entering your car after it’s been parked for awhile?
• Is there an emergency release in the trunk for the trunk lid?
• Do you carry your cell phone on your person at all times or leave it in your car?
  

Expand this list and look through a predator’s eyes at your home, your daily activities, and your children’s lifestyle.

Consider the chinks in your armor. Unlocked doors, open windows, unknown key-holders (do your kids’ friends have keys? Neighbors who moved away? Former employees?).

Analyze the every day things you and your family do and say that could put you at risk. Do you talk about family vacations or mention your kids’ schools or the teams they play on to people who have no need to know?

If you’re a single parent dating on the internet, did you include pictures of your children on your profile?

Do you walk with your head up, body erect, your eyes watchful, listening to the world around you?

Do you trust your intuition?

For the next couple of days, Susan Sciara will be writing here. A past board member of the Chicago Chapter of the Association of Threat Assessment Professionals, she spent eleven years heading the Threat Assessment Team for “an agency of the Federal Government that is commonly associated in the public’s mind with workplace violence.” Show of hands, class… now which one could that be?

Hope you enjoy.

Are We Really So Helpless?

I shared some good conversation over dinner tonight with a nationally acclaimed expert on the prediction and mitigation of violence. It got me thinking.

As a nation, we tend to avoid responsibility. Denial is one of our most inherent traits. If bad things happen, we don't like to admit fault. Better that it's the other guy or the collective "them."

We insist, "Those greedy oil companies are keeping gas prices high. Me and my Hummer aren't the problem."

"The cops should arrest those drunk drivers before they kill someone. It's not my place to take their car keys away."

"It's not my fault that I got beaten up and carjacked. All I did was drink a li'l too much and walk to my new Mercedes convertible down a dark alley in a questionable part of town. The carjacker was the one with the gun for cryin' out loud!"

And, of course, shame on the thoughtless, sexist bastard who would ever suggest that a woman who is sexually assaulted may have done something to precipitate it.

Consider this, however. We know that sexual predators frequently begin their careers by prowling homes and peeping in windows. Should it then come as a surprise that convicted rapists report choosing their victims on the basis of who keeps their blinds open?

Think about what a creep might see when peering in a woman's window. Not just her nakedness. The fact she lives alone. The layout of the place, allowing mental preparation for a later home invasion. The lack of a security system or a dog. The placement of telephones or the fact the woman uses only a cell phone which she frequently forgets to charge. Perhaps even the location of potential weapons such as kitchen knives. The list goes on.

So, is it "wrong" to leave blinds open? Is it "bad" to drive a Mercedes? Can we be "blamed" for having a few drinks in a questionable neighborhood?

Of course not. But we need to be aware that each of these innocent actions may contribute to later victimization.

Crime doesn't "just happen."

I don't believe domestic abuse does either.

More tomorrow.