Wednesday, July 9, 2008

What Your Car Tells People About You

I’ve been writing about violence the past couple of days.

I offered the thought that victims often contribute to their victimization. Sometimes by what they do. Sometimes by what they fail to do.

The woman who lives alone and leaves her blinds open, inviting a would-be serial rapist to have a glimpse of her life.

The person who ignores warning signs of violence in their spouse-to-be.

I suggested embracing the intuitive ability we all have to stay alert to potentially violent situations and I provided Jeff Cooper’s Color Codes of Mental Awareness as a way to hone those intuitive skills.

I even mentioned how my cat, Socks, helped me learn to stay at Cooper’s condition Yellow.

It helps if you can program yourself to think like a predator.

When I was a deputy sheriff, a wise corrections officer warned me to keep something in mind whenever I worked in the county jail. He said, “You can spend eight hours a day in here trying stay safe but the prisoners have twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week to figure out ways to f___k you up.”

Crooks look for the exact same opportunities on the outside, too. Here are some ways they might use your car as a resource:
  • Do you have vanity plates with your name on them? (Getting you to lower your guard while approaching you, a predator could say something like, “Hey, Lucy, I haven’t seen you since high school…”).
  • Is your address on any slip of paper, envelope or box to be shipped that can be read from outside the car? Do you leave letters to be mailed face up on the seat or dash?
  • Do you ever leave your car with a parking valet? With a mechanic? Is your house key on the ring with the ignition key you provide them?
  • Is your garage door opener in the car (they have codes that can easily be read and duplicated)?
  • Is your home address on anything in your glove box or under the seat? How about in your briefcase?
  • Are there pictures of your children inside your car? The name of their school?
  • For that matter, do you ever leave your car running with your child inside for “just a minute” while you duck into a store?
  • Do you ever leave your car unlocked?
  • Do you look in the back seat before entering your car after it’s been parked for awhile?
  • Is there an emergency release in the trunk for the trunk lid?
  • Do you carry your cell phone on your person at all times or leave it in your car?

Expand this list and look through a predator’s eyes at your home, your daily activities, and your children’s lifestyle.

Consider the chinks in your armor. Unlocked doors, open windows, unknown key-holders (do your kids’ friends have keys? Neighbors who moved away? Former employees?).

Analyze the every day things you and your family do and say that could put you at risk. Do you talk about family vacations or mention your kids’ schools or the teams they play on to people who have no need to know?

If you’re a single parent dating on the internet, did you include pictures of your children on your profile?

Do you walk with your head up, body erect, your eyes watchful, listening to the world around you?

Do you trust your intuition?

For the next couple of days, Susan Sciara will be writing here. A past board member of the Chicago Chapter of the Association of Threat Assessment Professionals, she spent eleven years heading the Threat Assessment Team for “an agency of the Federal Government that is commonly associated in the public’s mind with workplace violence.” Show of hands, class… now which one could that be?

Hope you enjoy.

8 comments:

Sonya said...

Great post. Thanks for the tips.

Doug M.Cummings said...

Hope they help keep you and your family safe.

Anonymous said...

If people have such good intuition why do women stay with guys who punch them out all the time?

Anonymous said...

All what you say is gereat but how am I suppsed to remember it all? And I dont drive a car anyway! Ha ha

Lola

Allison Brennan said...

Wow. I'm very security conscious, but one thing you mentioned had me thinking. School papers. I get a gazillion papers every day when I pick my kids up from school, and often they have the school name on them (like a newsletter.) I usually skim it, then put them and put them on the passenger seat, where they might stay for a couple days. I have a vanity plate, but it doesn't have my name on it. Still. I might have to rethink that . . . thanks for the great post.

Doug M.Cummings said...

Thanks Allison...I went to a restaurant once where they had posted drawings by customers' kids...with a photo of the child...and their name and age. The manager was highly offended when I mentioned how risky that was. Next time I went, though, the display was gone.
Scary.

Doug M.Cummings said...

Anonymous...that's a hard question. I know some people's intuition gets blunted after a long time of being treated badly. They don't recognize the behavior for what it is. Familiarity, I guess.

Anonymous said...

To anonymous:

I've been there, done that, got the scars to prove it.

Why do we stay and take the abuse from a man? Because for so long he's programmed us to believe that he is the only one that will love us. And the beatings he gives us, we deserve. You hear that long enough, you believe it.

I was one of the lucky ones to finally break free. The scars and the memories won't go away, but hopefully the wisdom that came from these years have helped me make MUCH better choices in my life since then.

It's not an easy road though.