I shared some good conversation over dinner tonight with a nationally acclaimed expert on the prediction and mitigation of violence. It got me thinking.
As a nation, we tend to avoid responsibility. Denial is one of our most inherent traits. If bad things happen, we don't like to admit fault. Better that it's the other guy or the collective "them."
We insist, "Those greedy oil companies are keeping gas prices high. Me and my Hummer aren't the problem."
"The cops should arrest those drunk drivers before they kill someone. It's not my place to take their car keys away."
"It's not my fault that I got beaten up and carjacked. All I did was drink a li'l too much and walk to my new Mercedes convertible down a dark alley in a questionable part of town. The carjacker was the one with the gun for cryin' out loud!"
And, of course, shame on the thoughtless, sexist bastard who would ever suggest that a woman who is sexually assaulted may have done something to precipitate it.
Consider this, however. We know that sexual predators frequently begin their careers by prowling homes and peeping in windows. Should it then come as a surprise that convicted rapists report choosing their victims on the basis of who keeps their blinds open?
Think about what a creep might see when peering in a woman's window. Not just her nakedness. The fact she lives alone. The layout of the place, allowing mental preparation for a later home invasion. The lack of a security system or a dog. The placement of telephones or the fact the woman uses only a cell phone which she frequently forgets to charge. Perhaps even the location of potential weapons such as kitchen knives. The list goes on.
So, is it "wrong" to leave blinds open? Is it "bad" to drive a Mercedes? Can we be "blamed" for having a few drinks in a questionable neighborhood?
Of course not. But we need to be aware that each of these innocent actions may contribute to later victimization.
Crime doesn't "just happen."
I don't believe domestic abuse does either.
More tomorrow.
2 comments:
I think the real problem is that people don't think the extra step down the road when making a decision. As you said, "yeah, I SHOULD be able to have a drink in this chancy part of town and park my Mercedes out front." That person is right; he should be able to. In the interests of his own safety--and possibly those with him--he should also take a minute to think about who else might see the car, and what they might be thinking.
There's a fine line between prudence and paranoia. Everyone likes to learn from their mistakes, but there are some mistakes you only get to make once.
Thus begins the followup post!
Your comments are exactly my point.
Post a Comment